2R3P Player Review
Alrighty the season is over for the lowest ranked team and i think we can all agree that despite the fact that it was a slow motion trainwreck from day one making playoffs was actually a pretty big success for us. Overall there was a lot of drama but tbh I still like everyone on the team. I had fun this season and I’m looking forward to the next one, and i really hope everyone on my team plays next season too!
Well so much for the niceties, here comes the flame.
OUR TEAM DYNAMIC
When I say that lego’s contribution to the draft started out as “he’s the drafter” and ended with “during draft either he mutes himself or we mute him” I am not kidding. Being honest though it’s only because he kept suggesting support luna. We tell people he doesn’t draft because of that storm game but really it’s cause we’re pretty sure that he’d pick support luna as a joke and then venuz would abandon on the spot.
During the games when we had Dusty he’d call the shots and we were actually pretty put together.
Otherwise our team dynamic involved speaking over each other a lot, PMA calling the correct move 30 seconds after we should’ve done it, Venuz not saying anything cause his mic was broke, and me not just feeding but announcing to the world that i had fed.
So much for that garbage, time to look at the players!
OUR RESIDENT FURRY
Aite I can’t say anything bad about Satin tbh. She’s a really consistent support, constantly PMA even under some really trying circumstances, and managed to feed less than me, not, y’know, that that’s an accomplishment. She was drafted 3rd phase and despite her low medal I think that’s actually kinda reasonable; her warlock was consistently banned all season, and, as we saw in S2, for good reason. Also I met her IRL and played dominion with her, Jotham, and latchet, and that was super fun!
But she’s a furry, so I rank her 0/10.
OUR RESIDENT DRUNKEN WHORE
Whether he was skipping games to get drunk, skipping games to get laid, or skipping games to not fail out of uni because he spent all his time getting drunk and laid, dusty really shoulda been kicked early on. But he wasn’t, because, I mean, come on. It’s dusty. Not only is he a god in bed, he’s also somewhat competent in dota, and pretty much impossible to dislike. If he had showed up to games, who knows, we might not have had to play Chen in the first round of playoffs. Maybe we coulda made it to playoffs. Maybe we coulda been somebody. We coulda been a contender, instead of a bum, which, let’s face it, is what we are. I can’t believe he was left to the 4th round of draft- y’all were wylin, seriously.
That said show up to league games ty 0/10
OUR RESIDENT DRUNKEN FEEDER
Maniac is a toxic feeder, regularly shows up drunk, always suggests dumb shit, averages like 30 deaths in league games, and constantly flames nice people. DO NOT DRAFT.
-1/10
OUR RESIDENT NARCOLEPTIC
Venuz, or, as he was known for 2 weeks before lego changed it, Penuz, is actually my favorite dude in the league. Whether I’m stealing his farm in lane, PMA is stealing his farm in jungle, or satin is letting his farm get stolen by not warding it, Venuz somehow consistently manages to have an outsize impact. He might be Legend 1, he might have 300 ping, and he might fall asleep before league matches because he played dota the previous 20 straight hours like an absolute imbecile, but if I were a captain, this man would be my first pick beyond a fucking doubt. Lego did a lot of things well, but far and away his best move this season was first picking Venuz.
But he had 431 gpm in an 80 minute game. 431. He wasn’t just the poorest core by 100 gpm; he was almost as poor as our pos 4. And, I mean, that just wipes out all the good. 1 bad game? Get me out actually. 0/10.
Before I get to the drama, our coaches
OUR RESIDENT BOOSTED ANCIENT
I love Lava tbh. I promise whenever I flame you I’m 100% joking 100% of the time. You were crazy helpful all season to the team, and I really don’t think we’d have made it to playoffs without you. Also you’re dumb fun to play with, thank you for carrying me in so many party ranked games this season, you actually boosted me like 400 mmr. I really hope you stick around in the community cause you’re a super cool dude, and pls coach whatever trash team I get 5th picked on next season :blobcatreach:
The only thing is, your advice to me was usually “stop feeding ”. Listen, I’ll feed if i like ok its my life. 0/10.
OUR RESIDENT BOOSTED IMMORTAL
Lucky joined us kinda late into the season, but aside from carrying my heavy ass in several pubs, he also gave us some really great advice, good drafting tips, and was an all round great guy.
The thing is, lucky, a good coach wouldn’t instill bad habits in his players, like carrying me after I went midas nullifier ogre and jungled for 40 minutes. SMH. 0/10.
Here comes the drama bitches
OUR RESIDENT CAPTAIN AND YOUNG’UN
Lego faced some pretty outsize challenges at the start of this season. Not only was he the lowest medal captain, not only did he have the lowest medal team, but also he had drafted me. Who would voluntarily do that to themselves? If picking Venuz was the best thing he did, picking me was easily the worst. Smh.
On a more serious note, Lego did a pretty good job as captain given the issues he started with. It’s hard to call shots as a lower medaled player, especially since lego was also the youngest player on the team; a worse captain would’ve tried to bully his way into getting the leadership positions, but instead lego did a good job of encouraging a much more democratic atmosphere. He provided the guidelines that led to a lot of actually constructive discussions both ingame and out, and the shots he did call were usually pretty good.
But there was one glaring issue I had with his captaincy- one of only 2 issues at all- and that’s his relationship with PMA Player. I’ll say this; it’s true that PMA could frequently be abrasive, and I’ll talk more about him in detail in the next section. But I think a Lego’s also kinda culpable for a lot of the fallout that nearly led to our team disbanding repeatedly. Sometimes personalities just clash, and Lego’s clashed with PMA almost constantly. I hate to say this, but part of it comes down to the age difference; I don’t think PMA liked taking marching orders from someone 12 years his junior, and I don’t think Lego thought it should be an issue. Maybe it shouldn’t have been; but working around differences like that is the hallmark of a really great captain, and my dude, you kinda let me down a little there. Sometimes the right answer is really to turn the other cheek; let cooler heads prevail.
If that had been the only issue, I think I’d still have given Lego an 8 or 9/10, because he really is genuinely a great guy and I’d love to have him on my team next season. But this motherfucker keeps pushing support luna. STOP PUSHING SUPPORT LUNA. IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. 0/10.
OUR RESIDENT CARRY AND OLD HEAD
Lemme start off by saying this; this dude is really good at dota. His laning stage is kinda eh, but he consistently finds ridiculous amounts of farm and is almost always one of the most impactful cores in the whole game- even when we’re losing. His Dusa is some scary shit, with him holding the 1st and 2nd place for GPM this season on non-alch heroes, both of them Dusa games. He’s dumb good on his whole hero pool, really, and, as a note to future captains, he is willing to flex to pos 4 with heroes like shaker and pudge, although because we were so low medal this season we never really wanted to shift him off core. Also sometimes we hear his daughter in the background and yo she’s hella cute.
Ok so that’s the good bit; here’s the bad. My man is the definition of a 1v9 player. Some parts of that are ok- if you can get away with shit like midas no armlet CK, then do it. Greed is good if it doesn’t get punished. But other parts of his attitude were pretty unproductive; dude has a predilection for tilting, and while his shot calling is almost universally on point, he has a tendency to call those shots 30 seconds after we should’ve done them, just assuming everyone is on the same page. Usually, we’re not. More communication would be blessed, but more than that, more constructive communication, dude. Yeah, a lot of the time your supports and offlaner kinda suck, we’re in a learning league for a reason. PMA bever flamed anyone (well, except Lego, of course), but his attitude could be abrasive and unconstructive, and it was a serious contributor the the atmosphere of our team towards the end of the season. I don’t think it was all his fault, and I do think that a team more balanced around him, rather than Venuz, might’ve had more success. I guess we’ll see- next season.
His skill and attitude when not tilted would honestly earn him a 7/10 at the very least; his Dusa games earn him a solid 8.5/10. But BATTLEFURY SLARK? ARE YOU SHITTING ME???? 0/10.
Let’s end on a positive note.
OUR RESIDENT MORAL SUPPORT
I said Venuz was my favorite dude in the league. That’s cause Brionne is my favorite person in the league. I genuinely didn’t know it was possible for someone to be so overwhelmingly supportive, polite, and all round awesome. If I were captain next season I’d first round pick her, but I’m not going to captain because that shit seems like effort so idk.
No negatives here. 11/10
sike we’re ending on a negative
FUCKING POCKET
🖕
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR FARMING NEXT TO THAT TEAMFIGHT YOU SONOFABITCH 0/10 FOR LETTING ME AND VENUZ DIE
also we gotta play more only 10 games smh should be at least 50
